Hit The Deck, I am Back!

I am back from my trip to the Arctic, and I nearly caught a cold and fell sick, the trip back wasn't nearly as hectic, and I have a new repertoire of cold jokes to make people panic.

Good day to you my good friend, my absence I have come to amend, regardless of what you shall demand, upon you the arctic storm shall descend.

In your leather boots you shall shiver, in your woolen socks you shall quiver, for your cotton jackets I shall be its weaver, donning your knitted caps I become a diver.

The Atlantic is never too deep, in its recesses monsters creep, from the volcanoes lava seep, in the caverns I shall find sheep.

So I asked the sheep for wool, it cursed me for I am a fool, it ate its breakfast sitting on a stool, and remembering my dice I started to drool.

It scolded me for I wasn't a pretty sight, and on its appetite I was a blight, it went out for a short respite, and came back with a bard for the night.

The greatest singer of all was the bard, we gave him drink and a bowl of custard, he shoved them aside and went for a tankard, strumming his guitar he sang like a bastard.

The sheep slapped him with his hardened hooves, the bard's face twisted and rippled with grooves, he came to and started to dance some moves, it is amazing how much he improves.

Alas I had to leave this cavern, for it is time to return to my tavern, I whistled for my little pet wyvern, and promptly left for my safe haven.