First Post Of The New Year!

This is the first post of the new year,

There are some things I want to make clear,

No matter what happens to what I hold dear,

None shall ever touch my barrel of beer.

Some people take the time to make resolutions,

Others spend time planning to reach their aspirations,

Regardless of how others spend their celebrations,

I shall be indulging in my alcoholic solutions.

Thatsh' the reashon why I write these poetry,

Shuch that people wouldn't shtep into my property,

And dirty their shhiny shhoesh on my carpentry,

Lesht they shhall fall prey to my inshanity.

And noww mah home shmells like a shkunk,

It ish probablee becaushe I am dead drunk,

And alsho becaushe I am wearing a treee trunk,

I think I shhall be hitting the bed bunk.

Noww my handsh ache from the hitting,

It musht be from doing tooo much beating,

Noww I leave to doo shome boxhing,

Before wiping the floor to do shome shlipping.